I usually stay clear of environmental discussions because I tend to find evangelism irritating. I’ve come to the conclusion that even though the environment and environmentalists differ because the environment is frequently attractive, exciting and smells earthy by nature, you still wouldn’t really want to get either on your hands. Keeping some distance is best.
However, a conversation I just overheard on Radio has forced my hand somewhat. One of the aforementioned pop-eyed, patchouli drenched hedgemongers was holding court on the subject of road salting. Apparently the sheer amount of salt we’ve had to use over the last two winters has had a catastrophic effect on roadside trees. His argument hinged on the idea that higher salt concentrations in the soil resulting from road salting prevent the trees from drawing water up because it affects the process of osmosis. Trees are dying, people!
Only as far as I can see, they’re not. I live in the suburbs, travel across the city daily to the other suburbs on the opposite side and make frequent trips across the county, and I can’t remember the last time I saw a dead roadside tree. Our understanding of osmosis is something we take for granted, but there are still differences in opinion over the precise mechanism relating to trees.. or potentially, to the combination of mechanisms. If this was such an issue, why haven’t we heard of it before?
Oh right, yes – he says that apparently there’s some research in America to suggest that road salt is killing trees so we need to sit up and listen. He doesn’t know why other countries that suffer far more snow than us still appear to have trees, nor does he know what the range of alternatives to salt are, how much they might cost, or why we haven’t looked into them so far. All mere details though – we can’t risk losing our trees and so we need to take (some as yet undefined) action right now! As an additional gambit, he revealed that the trend in cold winters is likely to continue. Even the MET office won’t make predictions like that, so I’m wondering what dark and shadowy connections this man has. He then unveiled his chief weapon in the fight against salt – the National Tree Council!
Don’t entertain visions of a parliament populated entirely by wooden and largely immobile lumps that spend a large proportion of the year asleep, because we already have one of those. Instead, picture a public militia made from eight thousand volunteer tree officers spanning the country, to whom you can report any sightings of poorly trees. I imagine that upon receiving such a call they’d rock up with their tree protection kit, comprised of a flask of organic lentil soup, a series of ribbons to tie to prominent branches, and enough stick-on warts for everyone. What happens then is anyone’s guess, and you’re welcome to run with it in the privacy of your own imaginations.
Anyway, Radio 4, with its usual knack of stringing relevent items together, then chose to interview a horticultural type from somewhere in Birmngham about the effect of winter on trees. His response was that cold winters are generally great for trees because they give them a much needed chance to relax and gird their leafy loins for the following spring. Putting all of these variables together, I can only assume that the optimum course of tree hugging action would be to
- Hope for longer, colder winters
- Stop salting the road
Brilliant. The Nobel prize beckons.
We’ll just sweep the economic crashes, frozen pensioners and the increase in fatalities caused by collisions with the same trees we were trying to save under the fairtrade hessian peace carpet.
